There are healthy ways to deal with difficult things. Sometimes those are the routes I take. Sometimes I am not taking any routes, I am just sitting in my chair being a glazed donut of a human.
It feels good to remember that’s okay. I don’t have to feel bad about everything.
Being perfect is never a prerequisite to peace or self-acceptance.
There are small cycles and big cycles. I know myself well enough to know what I come back to, most of the time. I’m okay with my equilibrium. It tilts this way and that, but it never tilts all the way over. The center can hold.
Or maybe it can’t. Maybe things fall apart, and the center cannot hold, and it’s tumultuous but not apocalyptic.
There’s this option I like to call forming a new center.
It does create vast periods of feeling lost, unmoored, ungrounded. Mood swings, behavior swings. Generally, lots of swinging and flailing. When you’re in the middle it seems chaotic, and mostly it is, but there’s something else going on too.
Disorientation is just the feeling you have before you get oriented.