Read this quote in James Clear’s latest newsletter:
“Selfish people should listen to advice to be more selfless, selfless people should listen to advice to be more selfish. This applies to many things. Whenever you receive advice, consider its opposite as well. You might be filtering out the advice you need most.”
Source: Conor Barnes in 100 Tips for a Better Life
Made me think of something that keeps coming to mind: Men, in general, need to get the hell away from stoicism as a philosophy/approach to life. And women need to get closer to it.
Joshua P. Steele genuinely interested in this. What would it look like for men to move away from stoicism, as it were?
annie's micro(b)log @joshuapsteele My take (and what I’ve observed in multiple male friends who’ve embraced stoicism) is that dominant culture (esp US culture?) teaches men to repress emotion; masculinity is associated with emotional detachment. Stoicism is used to confirm that emotional detachment is healthy when many men probably need the reverse – skills to identify, feel, and express emotions in a more immediate and genuine way. For women, who are taught to be empathetic caretakers, the reverse is true. We need more skills in healthy detachment, boundaries around our empathy, and limits on our caretaking.
annie's micro(b)log @joshuapsteele also to be clear I don’t necessarily think that what people take away from stoicism (especially in a pop culture way) is what stoicism actually teaches.
annie's micro(b)log @joshuapsteele So men moving away from stoicism could look like embracing other philosophies or approaches that affirm and validate emotions as a strength, as a necessary part of the life experience. Acquiring and practicing emotional intelligence – being able to identify feelings, even when layered, complex, and confusing. Learning how to express emotions in a way that’s not aggressive or abusive toward others. Being able to express emotional vulnerability.